Perhaps Judas never meant for Jesus to die. Perhaps his idea of turning the world upside-down involved overthrowing the Roman government, and Jesus wasn't acting fast enough for his impatience. If something angered Jesus enough, like the vendors in the temple, He might finally take up arms and claim His rightful place as king.
But Jesus had higher plans, greater aspirations, achieved through humbler means. Judas expected force; Jesus had no need of it. Jesus already ruled--rules--everything. Everything. And so, He came not for Himself, but for His children.
When Judas realized this, that all he'd believed to be true was completely false, he felt great remorse. He had betrayed his Lord to death, and it caused him such agony that he sought death himself.
We all have a bit of Judas in us, much as we scorn the one "who betrayed Him." Impatience, misunderstanding, sin. Human traits. Jesus forgives.
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