echoes of Esther

"for such a time as this"
and what, Lord, does this mean?
I am in a transitory position
neither here nor there
still struggling to comprehend
the recent past
while simultaneously trying to plan
a too-quickly approaching future
so what position have I come to
that You would say
"for such a time as this"?
yet at every stage in my life
I have complained of being in-between
without solid knowledge of
where I am or where I'm going
but isn't that life?
I claim to travel a dark path
carrying a Flashlight that reveals
only just the next footfall
and my immediate surroundings
perhaps I should stop
to gaze around every so often
perhaps then I would know where I stood
that God should say
"for such a time as this"



Perhaps Judas never meant for Jesus to die. Perhaps his idea of turning the world upside-down involved overthrowing the Roman government, and Jesus wasn't acting fast enough for his impatience. If something angered Jesus enough, like the vendors in the temple, He might finally take up arms and claim His rightful place as king.

But Jesus had higher plans, greater aspirations, achieved through humbler means. Judas expected force; Jesus had no need of it. Jesus already ruled--rules--everything. Everything. And so, He came not for Himself, but for His children.

When Judas realized this, that all he'd believed to be true was completely false, he felt great remorse. He had betrayed his Lord to death, and it caused him such agony that he sought death himself.

We all have a bit of Judas in us, much as we scorn the one "who betrayed Him." Impatience, misunderstanding, sin. Human traits. Jesus forgives.